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POD:
We here at POD are shocked, completely shocked. We didn't think we would have to break out
our "Is Brenda Leaving?" headlines until at least mid-May...
Spokesperson:
"We felt it was best to blind side ABC and blackball them into giving Vanessa more money.
Less work for more money is the American way. Look how well it worked for Genie Francis.
POD: According to our sources, Vanessa was looking for more money than Tony Geary. Any truth
to the idea?
Spokesman: In fact, yes. We felt that it would only be fair to reward Vanessa with the luxuries offered to a 20 year Emmy
winning vet who is nearing retirement.
POD: We really feel proud, as women, that Vanessa would demand equal luxuries. It's a girl thing.
You go!
Spokesman: We agree. Since her announcement, we have heard nothing but praise for her un-divalike behavior, professionalism and
regard for castmates.
POD: Has Vanessa been happy since returning?
Spokesman:
Not really. They only inserted her into 17 different running
storylines, instead of the 20 we had agreed upon when signing. We were less than thrilled with the audiences clammy reaction
to her. And I'm sorry but, I only noticed 4 magazine covers since her tenure. That was disappointing to say the least. We
were also told that she would have 5 men who pined for her character, and not the four we got, Jax, Sonny, Alcazar, and to
some extent, Jason.We were promised that they would destroy both the marriages of Sonny and Jax in order to push Brenda into
the canvas, so seeing only one in total collapse is a bit disheartening. A lot promises we not made. Vanessa was very upset
about the underwear thing. They put a squash on that early on and it didn't please up very much.
POD: Speaking of underwear, we got a lot of interesting letters about her wardrobe. Comments?
Spokesperson: Actually, this is vintage
Brenda and pure Vanessa. Vanessa likes to really get people talking and taking notice of her. If fact, if you're not, it gets
her very upset and nervous. You can imagine how hard it would be to notice the most publicized and promoted woman in soaps
without a giant tattoo on her ass.
Vanessa had some pretty
creative ideas she wanted out there, for instance, Brenda walking around with a parrot on her shoulder. That idea didn't float
well by ABC. Another idea was to have her wear her pajama top with Fire Fighter pants and boots on. Again, squashed by the
network.
POD: We will sure miss her. Will Vanessa be working in Prime Time?
Spokesperson: (awkward silence) Next question..
POD: When can we start running our "Is Brenda Returning?" Headlines?
Spokesperson:
When she gets canned from her next series, I guess.
POD: Thanks so much for sitting
down with us. Would you like a donut?
Spokesperson: Mmm, sprinkles.
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Letter from the Editor...
Dear readers,
With the 2003 winter solstice ringing in images of cozy mittens and fireplaces crackling, it's
time to welcome in the New Year with not just champagne or chocolate covered donuts, but also in hopes that our soaps will
value family and friendship above all else. It dawned on me as I was sending my daughters Nancy, Hillary and Michelle to school
the other day that above all else, family remains.
So let's take this chance to salute valued member's of the POD family. For every soccer mom soap actress who recommended
my child prodigee to the NY School for Dramatic Performance, I salute you. For every actress who asked me to be their child's
godmother, sold Girl Scout Cookies for me, traded tips for breast pumps, told me my ass looked great when I knew otherwise,
or sent me Christmas cards, this one is for you. For every actor who asked me to use my magazine as a vehicle to promote social
issues, we salute you. For every real life actor who never refused to spare a square when I crapped my pantyhose at the award
shows, bless you. For those actresses out there that burn the bellyshirts in protest, you complete me. Or those who let us
have the last chip in the bowl, we will never forget.
For over the years we here at POD have formulated a close circuit of friends. Having fun going on weekly lunches, taking
in broadway shows, getting our nails done gossiping about the young newcomers who threaten us so..! Some may call us a cult
but I like to think we are an Enlightened Think Tank. Moms, singles and vets, we have our own preferences and styles and be
damned those who dare to break the mold or change the times.
I have the privilege of working with the Dueling Donut Eaters and let me tell you, each day is better than the next.
Their objectivity, inability to hold grudges and modern day approach to soaps are charactertistics to which I strive for.
Only those who are able to roll with the times and embrace the new, have the ability to be successful in this genre. They
are pleasant, never biting, never bitter or catty, and certainly not antagonistic to our readers.
Of course, we here at POD would like to say a special thanks to the support staff and employees here who keep this engine
running in these trying times. For every nanny, babysitter, niece of a network executive, or politically connected hack who
helps us function, we salute you. The quality of this magazine exists in you. We can always count on you to tweak headlines,
alter poll results, manipulate fan letters and print misleading quotes to generate viewer interest and promote our soap agenda
so thoroughly.
So on behalf of POD let me wish you all a warm and happy 2003, from me and my staff here at this publication.
Warmly Yours,
Flynn Fahey
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What's In My Bag?
What
valuable items do your fave characters keep in THEIR bag? POD digs in deep to find the answers!!
Carly:
Superglue
Star
Quote: "Carly is practical and loves her family. She's the fixer. Yup. Just fixing and fixing. Gluing them all back
together. Kinda like that coffee table. That expensive one that replaced our ottoman? The one Sonny burned when he strapped
a bomb to his back? Can't glue that *sigh* I told Sonny over and over 'No more plastic explosives'! Forgot about the fire
poker though, knew that shoulda gone in storage," says Tamara Braun of Carly Corinthos's practical side.
Alexis:
Wig
Knife
Red
Lipstick
Mittens
Star Quote: "Alexis has allowed me to play so many numerous and
differing facets of myself,I'm blessed and I'm blessed," says Nancy Lee Grahn of herself, her alter-ego and Alexis.
Jax:
Rhinestone encrusted
handgun
Mousse
Sun-in
Star Quote: "First of all, its not a 'purse' its a manbag.
Second. You didn't expect me to carry that heavy gun all the way to the Police Station, eh? Ric was very cooperative, even
when I told him it was his turn to hold the gun in the taxi. The mousse and sun-in are self explanatory. Not that my maker
didn't do exquisite work, its just His masterpiece needs some blonde touch-ups every now and then," says Ingo about his characters
blonde ambition!
Brenda:
Africa
Book
Star Quote: "She stole it outta Jason's Penthouse as a memento and it means so
much to her y'know? It reminds her of him, while inspiring me,Vannessa,to go abroad and save all the children. My son won't
be joining us, but he'll understand. I'm leavin' him and the nanny the Africa Book. I even red-dotted where I'll be on the
map in the back! It says 'Mommy is Here,'" responds Vanessa Marcil on the impact Brenda has had in her life.
Next week...
What's In My Pocket?
POD digs in deep to find the answers!!
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