We've got the Coverage, the Behind the Scenes Scoop
and Interviews with your Favorite Winners,
as POD Celebrates their First Annual SoapNet POD
Awards!! Brought to you by Polident, making
nominees smiles sparkle! And AARP, all the news that is fit to print!
Also in this Issue: BZzzz...Overheard!
Where Were You?-With Nancy Lee Grahn and Shop
The Soaps-New For Spring!
POD Celebrates
the SoapNet
POD Awards!!
The
SoapNet POD Awards: The Interviews!!
The Party
was in full swing as SEXIS, Sonny and Alexis
stole the show at the POD awards. Our editors were stunned to see the many
upsets of the night, including the surprising win of POD enemy Steve
Burton. We
caught up with the newly crowned winner backstage!
POD:
Steve, got a second?
SB: I'm in a rush
actually.
POD:
How do you feel about your POD Award?
SB:
(Shrugs.) I dunno, it's alright. I guess.
POD:
What an honor, huh?
SB:
Not really. Soaps are stupid, so is this award.
POD:
Steve, you can't be serious?
SB:
I am serious, you ass-wipe. This is on channel 312 on satellite TV. This entire soundstage is made of a cardboard and styrofoam.
Big freaking whoop, ya know? What, is there chocolate inside this trophy?
POD:
Clearly you must have been impressed with the way Sonny and Alexis swept the night. Considering you don't like them. Has to
hurt, huh?
SB:
That is disgusting. You people have issues.
POD:
You could at least be grateful Steve. We let you win.
SB:
Dude, I got better things to do tonight. Later! Go war!
*****
Among other joyous attendees
was none other than PODEditor in ChiefFlynn Fahey!
POD:
Flynn, you're beaming!
FF:
Thanks. What a night! I'm the bell of the ball!
POD:
You sure did pick some great winners.
FF:
We really did. This thing couldn't have been more orchestrated if John Williams were pulling a freakin' maestro routine, buck-naked
right here on this table.
POD:
Surprise winners?
FF:
I was shocked that Sexis won the plot twist. I really thought Brenda had it in the bag,
but never ever underestimate obsessed on- line fans and motivated editors.
POD:
What was the nicest thing to see?
FF:
Honestly, to see my friend Nancy win that award and thank me. It just seemed so
right ya know? I was happy she did resist making an anti-war speech; we don't need a Michael Moore, ya know?
And I am so happy that we were all able to celebrate here without the intrusive presence of Sonny and Carly
in the room.
POD:
Hey, Flynn...we need to get lots of photos of you and Nancyand
Maurice...we have an issue to work on!
FF:
Consider it done!
*****
Some folks had a rather short-lived
celebration due to a bad serving of broiled haddock au gratin! POD has an exclusive
look at a notable sufferer!
Jenna: (Holding stomach on toilet.) Owww, I don't feel so good.
Eve:
You okay in there?
Jenna:
No Eve. That haddock didn't agree with me. I think I had too much chowder too.
Eve:
Look I can't stay. Flynn wants me to go and start taking some pictures with Nancy.
Gotta go!
Jenna:
Eve, don't leave me. Owwww! (Moaning.)
Eve:
Sorry, bye!
Jenna:
(Whining, moaning.) Toughen up Jenna. Toughen up! This isn't the first time and it won't be the last. Must get up and interview
Vanessa. Must get up...
(Looks at toilet paper holder.)
Jenna:
F*CK!!!%%% (Pauses.) Hello? Is anyone in here? There is no toilet paper. Hello? (Knocks on next stall.)
"Can I help you?"
"Yes
I am stuck, can you spare a square?"
"Gosh, I am so sorry...I
just can't."
"What
do you mean you can't?"
"I just can't spare
a square, sorry."
"You
have to!"
"No I don't."
"Yes
you do!"
"No I don't."
"Is
this Genie?"
"Nope, guess again."
"Robin?"
"Nope."
"Kassie
DePavia?"
"Nope. Sorry."
"Oh
my god, it's you!!"
"Yep."
"Tamara,
please. I promise, just spare me a square and I will do anything, I swear!"
"Sorry" (Flushes.)
Jenna:
(Mumbling to self.) "I'll remember this bitch!"
*****
Eve:
I am now sitting beneath the vagrants we hired off the Boulevard to sprinkle confetti from the rafters. It's just like PROM!Flynn and Piddle did such a beautiful
job with the decorations. The ice sculpture that says SEXIS and has Jamaican rum
running down it for shooters was an especially nice touch. Too bad Jenna ate that
Hemlock...Haddock. Whatever. Here comes Vanessa now! She's approaching the POD Press Podium.
VM:
OWW!!! Stop sticking that SEXIS pin on me!
POD:
My Bad! Sorry, sorry. Hey Van! So SEXIS, eh eh? Kinda puts that SnB-alley
kiss-addiction-you make my blood boil-thing to bed doesn't it?
VM:
What?
POD:DETHRONED! Runner-up.Also-ran? Any of this mean anything to you?
VM:
I'm standing here because I won an award.
POD:
Not Plot Twist!
VM:
(Mocking.) Nyat Pwot Twist. What's wrong with you?
POD:
Did you watch GH during SEXIS? Did it surprise you?
VM:
Well, it reminded me of the time I was on my way to work and pulled over on the side of the road to vom...
POD:
Yeah, its rough to lose.
There is disturbing silence
except for the clickety clack of VM's heels as she marches away from the podium.
Was it something I said? While promoters scramble to usher in Budig, I load up
on tater tots, hydrogenated lemon crème cookies and Grape Nee Hi. Over at the bar, some of the guests are sipping Boone's.
Spare NO expense that's POD's motto. (Drumming fingers and saying
to self: Blah, blah, blah. I'm on AMC. Play a vixen. Aren't I cute.... Anytime they wanna bring out
the ONLY star that matters is fine by this SEXIS fan.) Oh
look! It's Rebecca Herbst and Rick Hearst!
(Adjusting press cap.)
POD:
Sorry that ya lost Becky. Must've been a disappointment to hear your first name and not your last. Do you think this is a
reflection on how the fans feel about you?
RH:
I play a character so I don't think it's a reflection about me personally.
POD:SEXIS won best plot twist.
RH:
I saw.
POD:
How did you feel about that?
RH:
Fine.
POD:
So you'll probably be getting some pointers from Nancy.
RH:
No.
POD:
Why not?
RickH:
You know these questions are a little out of line.
POD:
Steve Burton won.
RickH:
I saw.
POD:
So how'd you feel about that?
RickH:
Fine.
POD:
You'll probably be getting some pointers from Steve.
RH:
That wasn't very nice, Rick was just...
...before I can respond
with three magic words:COURTNEY IN 2004, I am met with a vision! It's ALEXIS
in the flesh. Nancy LEE Grahn. She is flanked by a waiter
and the valet...or is that Steve and Maurice? Who has time to notice,
I quickly approach the podium with only the desire to squeal with delight over SEXIS.
POD:
Nancy! Nancy! Its me! Eve?
NLG:*Smiles and nods to the throng of reporters*
POD:
So, Guza's listening now, huh?
NLG:*Answers another reporters question*
POD:
You and Maurice are obviously close.
NLG:*Whispers something to the stagehand*
POD:
SEXIS won't be ignored in 2004!
NLG:*Looks past Eve's head*
POD:
You look fantastic. The BUN is perfect.
NLG: *Partially smiles*
POD:
Thanked Paula, even...smooooothe
NLG:*Turns to leave*
POD:
Any words for POD?
NLG:
*Continues walking*
Well, this reporter
is overwhelmed! Just over the moon and beyond words. She is a class act and the scoopage! Jenna
is going to be sorry she missed this...
Back Issues of The Digesting Donut Eaters' POD/POW:
Nancy Lee Grahn Reflects on
GH's greatest Love Stories!!
In keeping with the
celebration for of 40 fabulous years of General Hospital, POD sat down with pal & newly
minted Emmy nominee Nancy Lee Grahn (see pages 2,5,12-18,24-30, 42)
to reflect on the Best in Show, romance style. She shares her own personal memories of watching
these pairs.
Grahn
on...Steve and Audrey:
"I would comment, but I wasn't born
yet. Sorry."
Grahn
on...Luke and Laura:
"How could I forget? I was a mere
toddler but me and mommy loved L&L. She would rock me back and forth as we watched in sync
to Herb Albert's smoky version of "Rise."
Grahn
on...Frisco and Felicia:
"I was a little girl with scraped
knees and barrettes in my hair. Me and my friends would run home from elementary school to watch Frisco and Felicia's adventures!"
Grahnon...Sonny and Brenda:
"It was Prom Night,
1992. The age of big hair, 90210 madness and Salt_n_Pepper euphoria. I was a blossoming
junior about to experience the most magical night of my life. I stood in my doorway. Should I accept a date with Arvid
the big man on campus, or stay home and watch the magic of S&B? When Brenda kissed Sonny's lips I stood trembling, whispering
to myself that someday that would be me. That night, I danced to Naughty by Nature with an intense feeling
of S&B in my soul!"
Grahn
on...Robin and Stone:
"Shortly after graduation, I help
christen my womanhood by falling in love with this tragic tale of an HIV sufferer and his holier than thou
counterpart. Freshman year in college, I will never forget it. After hours spent in the campus library, my friends and I would
watch and cry with these two. Later, we would watch Road Rules Season 1 while braiding each others hair.
Oh, to be young again."
Grahn
on...Sonny and Carly:
"I had just turned 21 when these
two fell into each other's lives. Maurice, being an older man, made me blush in my youthful innocence.
Sarah looked as if she were aging, but still maintained vitality. I felt humbled in Maurice's
presence. I promised myself, 'Once that bitch Sarah is gone, I am going to steal her
leading man, and her story.' There would never be another Sonny & Carly. Enter
SEXIS. Sarah really paved the way for our tale. I owe
her for life for leaving. I should probably send her a thank you note to the retirement home she is living in. Would you like
me to comment on the supercoupleSEXIS, who should also
be listed?"
POD:
"No. Once again, thanks to Ms. Grahn
for sitting down with us and help celebrating the best of 40 years. Here's to another 40!"
Grahn:
"I look forward to turning 50 by then!"
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POD:BZzzzzzz...
Overheard!
What newly appointed
network president was blown away by the representation of a former west coast soap coupling? He was heard waxing to friends
at great length of what a strange twist the night took, and how quickly he might do something about it.
Which outspoken
West Coast heartthrob and POD winner was heard dishing to pals about how wrong
he had been over a current cast-mate? Seems someone regrets talking smack about her character, her sex scenes, and her on
screen baby. Must be the romance in the air! Has this femme fatale worked her subtle charms on this bad boy?
Which actress
once referred to as The Most Beautiful Girl in Port Charles admitted to POD
was overwhelmed with the popularity of her former co-star's romance with his attorney. It prompted her to sign on for six
months in an effort to wrap up her part in the duo's now luke-warm love story and "pass the baton."
What a sport this gal is!
When a respected
journalist and friend-to-the-winners powdered her nose, she was met with vitriol and violence. While she couldnt identify
her attacker, the hard-hitting reporter was left with "Tammy Faye Was Here" make-up stains on her Jacklyn
Smith Collection Evening Gown. Was it any accident that a blond, young, thin, undeserving, snubbed-by-POD-at-Soap-Net-SOD-awards-recast was seen leaving the site with
several rolls of toilet paper? Seems someone with the initials T.B. can't spare
a square.
