In This Issue:
The Dueling Donut Eaters: Do the TWIST. Getting
to Know...Lane Davies. POD Star Style with the Interns. POD:
Tackling the BIG Issues and Answering the HARD Questions from You, the
Readers. And the GH Week End Wrap-up Recap!
The Donut Eaters: THE PLOT TWIST
REVOLT!!!!
The Dueling
Donut Eaters : Do
the TWIST!
Whether
dishin', dissing or just playing dunkin, the Dueling Donut Eaters never
hold back when it comes to soaps. And this week join them for some celebratory dancing as they dish about the biggest PODaward of them all: The Plot Twist Award!!
Jenna:
Ahh, "SEXIS." Just the mere term has become part of my every day vocabulary. When
I wake up in the morning I am awoken by my imaginary husband (played in my head by Sex and the City" and "Greek Wedding"
alum John Corbett) with the suggestive greeting "Good morning baby.Want someSEXIS?"Oh,
that our favorites managed to capture this award makes me tingly all over Eve! This is a big day in PODexistence. It's up there in many notable events in mankind. Just think: Columbus discovering America, man landing
on the moon, and SEXIS winning the PODPlot Twist Award. Does it get better than that?
Click for more SEXIS holiday cards!
Eve:
Jenna there is no greater joy than the Joy of SEXIS. *Wink*. It really
does prove that the fans are holding on for dear life until that fateful day these intoxicating lovebirds are reunited. Fortunately
POD has roll after roll of film to stretch this monumental event into a
weekly homage and memorabilia. This Christmas we will sell SEXIS X-Mas
cards, Fourth of July Cherry Bombs (honoring the loss of 40-year old virginity), and Thanksgiving Turkey Basters (for
those CFFs out there, Sexis loves ya!). POD will never forget this occasion
and we want you and yours to celebrate with us. What Plot Twist says to the suits is: "Can you hear
this ABC? Want me to turn.it.up????"
Jenna:
The win has made me click my heels and turn on country music, listening to "All My Exes Live in SEXIS"!
Life is good. Last night I let loose and had TWO frozen dinners and did the Chubby Checker twist with my
cat, Natasha. Our jubilation is not just confined to me and my pussy. Wasn't it great to see the jubilant people of Baghdad
celebrate the Plot Twist win by taking that statue down?
Eve:
Was it ever! And like that statue no matter how long it took to rig PlotTwist,
it was so worth the effort. Was it REALLY coincidence that seXis
won on the heels of #1 box office smash "XXX"? I think not. In fact, it
is hard to count the many ways SEXIS has infiltrated both world events and
pop culture phenoms. Since SEXIS, the use of Xstacy
has reportedly reached an all time low. Nay Sayers (a.k.a CFFs) will say that this is just ridiculous,
but I think the facts, figures, and newspaper headlines speak for themselves. SEXIS
has even been the founding couple of those cutesy Internet names. As far as I'm concerned, Sonny and Alexis
most certainly are what SEX IS! Say, is there an intervention for SEXIS
addiction? Sign me up!!
Jenna:
If being addicted to SEXIS is wrong, I don't want to be right. I just want
one scene. One little tiny teensy scene, I swear that is all! No agenda, nothing more! I just miss the mind-blowing chemistry
between them. Two million Shiite Muslims of Baghdad can't be wrong."Give us SEXIS
now! NOW!"Yes, you suffering sweethearts, we hear you! Now only will Bob Guza and Brian Frons?
It appears that remains the ultimate question for us suffering women, on the verge of launching a Battle
of the SEXIS to get what we want. Well, I am going to retire to my SEXIS
pillow with my kitty Natasha and enjoy sweet SEXIS dreams. In the meantime...
(Eyeing donut.) You eating that?
Eve:
Oh no you don't! (Grabs box and runs.)
Back Issues of The Digesting Donut Eaters' POD/POW:
To Jenna & Eve, the brains, the beauty and the wit.To
my pals from the EVIL LISTS, the inspiration, the indignation, pictures, art work, ideas and most of all support. To the following
websites for their generous donations of pictures and screencaptures:
And last but at least legends in their own minds, thanks
goes out to the REAL Donut Eaters, they know who they are. This site couldn't exist without their generous
contribution of weekly stupidity.
POD: Getting to know...Lane Davies!
Lane
Davies landed once again in soaps by joining his better half on daytime'sGeneral Hospital. We sat
down with the charming actor to get his thoughts on daytime, GH, and the apple of our eye, Nancy.
POD:
Thanks for sitting down with us Lane.
LD:
Thanks. What'up, Dawg?
POD:
Cameron Lewis, is it hard for you to play a character like this?
LD:
Naw it's good, because I don't front. It comes from the heart.
POD:
(Pausing.) Oh. You sound so different than Cameron...
LD:
Yo, it's about representing really.
POD:
Wow, for some reason I thought you would speak differently...
LD:
It's all good, it's all good. Happens all the time, yo.
POD:
Must be hard to try to compare to SEXIS, quite some shoes to fill huh? You must
feel pretty guilty I bet. You should.
LD:
Pfft. I was never "down" with SEXIS y'all. Nancy bombed.
POD:
Uh yeah, we'll ignore that one. What is the best part of working on GH?
LD:
I like to get jiggy with the cast and crew.
POD:
But Lane! Someone as fiery and passionate as Alexis can help!
LD:
Yes! Our burning carnal desires equal that only of a young Liz Taylor as Cleopatra and the tantalizing Richard Burton as her
beloved suitor, maddened by desire to ravish her instantly!
POD:
What's it like to work with NLG? Tell us! Please!
LD:
Quite simply she is a raving bitch!
POD:
(Gasp!) Lane!!!
LD:
It's true!!! We spend hours throwing hairbrushes at each other, accusing makeup of having purposely make us look dowdy in
our scenes. She accuses me of having thinning hair and I accuse her of the same. It's hell, I tell you! Hell!!
POD:
But..but... it's "fun hate" right? Ha ha ha, ya know, like Moonlighting, right?
LD:
Moonlighting?? No! Just yesterday she tried to have me fired! And then she suggested I be paired with Denise Alexander so
she can stalk her way into Maurice's storyline! She thinks she still has a shot! Can you believe it? The woman is clearly
insane! I never had this in mind for crying out loud! The madness! The yelling! The backstabbing! I can only compare it to
that of the tempestuous relationship of the Russian royal Alexander Romanov and his soothsaying vagabond misfit guru, Rasputin,
he who tried to foresee destiny, only to succumb to it...!!
POD:
Lane, I don't understand...Rasputin who? How does this affect Alexis?
LD:
Forget it! This interview is over. I can't stand this abuse much longer!(Storming off.)
POD Tackles the Big Issues!
Never
one to shy away from social issues that affect all of us, POD takes YOUR letters to tackle those "tough to answer"
questions...
Dear POD,
You have
always taken such brave stands on issues like rape, drugs and HIV, can you tell me why you seem so blasé about drunk driving?
Both A.J. and Skye have dabbled in both recently and frankly I am a little concerned about the message you are sending by
not discouraging it.
C.L.
Mothers
Against Drunk Driving
Dear C.L.,
Sorry you've
got the wrong magazine. From the beginning POD has been explicitly clear: Friends don't let friends
drive drunk after more than 4 cocktails!
Dear POD,
If you're
so politically correct about rape, how do you explain your support for Todd Manning and Luke Spencer all these years?
W.L.
Nat. Organization
of Women
Dear W.L.,
Don't blame
us! Blame the shows! Not only do we consistently remind our readers of their sexual violations and provide hotline numbers,
we also go out of our way to be critical of these men and not laugh at their madcap adventures!
Dear POD,
My boyfriend
hit me last night. Should I tell someone?
L.M.
Miami FL
Dear L.M.,
It depends on
the situation. Did you ask for it? Like maybe you were a little bit too slow in getting his beer or maybe you spent too much
money shopping? Remember, there is always two sides to every story! Just be lucky you didn't end up in a dumpster, okay? Good
luck!
POD: The Week
End Recaps...
General Hospital:
Monday:
After a run-in with Faith, Courtney wonders if the sloppy kiss Faith planted on her was the Kiss
of Death? What about the sloppy kisses Jason planted on her? Was THAT the Kiss of Death? Wondering if she had now caught the "Kiss
of Death", she vows never to kiss Jason again!
Tuesday:
Courtney realizes she can't live a life without kissing and goes to Faith's hotel room to give her back the nasty "Kiss of Death". Courtney hides in Faith's closet until she arrives. She is surprised to
see Jason in there disguised in one of Faith's dresses! Wondering if he has "Kiss of Death"
too, they both wait for Faith. Faith finds Bonnie Bell chapstick on the floor and aims a gun at the closet shouting,"Look
Jason, I KNOW you're in there!" Faith fires the gun. Shielded by Jason's Pleather Pashmina, Journey both survive
unharmed.
Thursday:
Back at Kelly's Courtney takes out the trash. She finds Fowler's body. Taggert tells her he was one of Faith's men and says
that Jason killed him. Courtney is disbelieving since there's no way Jason gave Fowler "Kiss
of Death". She's sure Faith did, though. Remembering how Faith just let them go after handing Jason his
Bonnie Bell, Courtney is certain his tube is contaminated with "Kiss of Death".
Thanks for the pic, Eve!
Friday:
Across the street Courtney sees Jason about to chapstick his lips! Looking between her and the chapstick, Jason hesitates.
He would chapstick, but what if she thinks less of him? Jason misinterprets Courtney's concern for disdain of a man with supple
lips. She races to stop him when the blare of a horn and an oncoming bus are heard...
Next
Week:
Courtney
is kidnapped!
Ric
warns Jason that chapsticking won't be good for his relationship with Courtney.
Faith
uses Jason's weakness: SONNY, to her advantage.
Carly
works Courtney's Kelly's shift until she's not kidnapped.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Star
Style Takes on...
The
POD Awards!
Thanks for the pic, Jenna!
Come
take a look at our winners and losers with our guest editors Skippy, Dippy
and Tippy. Their dads might work for Frymedia, but interning
never looked so good. Allow them to talk style!
Skippy: Well, we are fresh from the POD awards and
its time to talk style!
Dippy:
I was simply blown away by the fabulous looks sported this year.
Tippy: Let's get to it!
GH's Vanessa Marcil:
Dippy: Wow. Gorgeous as usual.
Skippy: You go Vanessa
Tippy: I have to buck trend here ladies.
Dippy: Oh God, why?
Tippy: It looks like she is getting her teeth ex-rayed at the dentist.
Skippy: Oh please Tip, booo!
Dippy: Hissssss. Ignore her POD readers.
Next we have B&B's Ron Moss:
Skippy: Wow, I don't know what to say.
Dippy: Swami tell me my fortune.
Tippy: He clearly doesn't shop at the GAP.
Dippy: He looks like he should say "Pass the Chalupa."
Skippy: I think I vomited on a guy dressed like that on spring break in Cancun.
Tippy: I feel like doing the Mexican hat dance.
Skippy: Ugh, I am so over Ron Moss, let's move on to our goddess...
That's right, GH's Nancy Lee Grahn:
Skippy: Stunning, just stunning.
Tippy: Sometimes there are no words. (Biting donut.)
Dippy: Get yer freak on! Get yer freak on!
Skippy: The Goddess of Beauty and Love, and Nancy was her name!
Tippy: Now *she* shops at the GAP!
Skippy: Heh, heh. Totally. Good call Tip.
Tippy: Thanks Skip.
Next we have Jill Farren Phelps of GH:
Tippy: (Pause.)
Dippy: Vanessa's expression says it all.
Skippy: Jill, Three's Company called. They want Mrs. Ropers' clothes
back
Dippy: Is that the lady from MAUDE?
Tippy: I am both shocked and awed.
Skippy: What IS it?
Dippy: I think it's a PANTSUIT?
Skippy: No, her? Him? Whatever.
Tippy: My uncle wears one of those, only in Miami Beach and he's 80.
Skippy:
I feel dirty just looking at it...let's get out of here.
